...from the children I know.

10. Time out is for babies, not sophisticated 2 year-old girls

9. No matter how hard you rub chicken nuggets together, they WILL NOT make a fire

8. A DVD will not play in a VHS slot

7. Refrigerators with the freezer on the bottom are a dumb idea

6. A 1-year old can fit more than one banana in his mouth at a time

5. The cops WILL be called if you don't let your 3 year old wear a cereal box on his head

4. Those b.b. guns at the county fair (you know, shoot out the red star and win a prize) are modeled after corn kernels and a spoon (the latter being more effective on targets, especially a sibling's head)

3. Kids will clean any room in two minutes if you set a timer

2. Spit-up on a black shirt doesn't look so bad, after all

1. There's nothing better than being the apple of a child's eye